As expected, the conversation with the neonatologist quite depressed me and set me back emotionally a few days. I think it was intended to be a hopeful talk but I was so drained afterward I slept for 14 hours – waking only because of the neverending need to pump. I get the sense too that when I show sadness that they think I am grieving some sort of parental experience. I’m not. I’m sad for my daughter – for what she may have lost. I also don’t like how they keep eagerly offering to show me scans of her brain. I don’t want to look at a picture I can’t understand – I want to know what it means.
I was buoyed afterward by some double snuggles. Being with them is very calming for me.
Both girls also graduated from their isolettes today into a crib (for C) and some sort of combination bed (for B). This change means they get dressed! I forgot to bring my few preemie onesies so for now it’s hospital garb.
C was not impressed with the concept of clothing!
And B in her big girl bed.
They may also try B without breathing support early next week as she does well. C is a few days behind her because of her lung injury but fingers crossed we get there soon.