Not even sure who’s reading this but with some time on my hands, I thought I’d start writing again. I hit 24 weeks yesterday, which was a big milestone in PPROM terms because the babies are now viable. Unfortunately it’s not as simple as that, as 24-week babies face many, many struggles, but it’s the first hurdle.
It’s funny how different it feels to have a true “high-risk” pregnancy. I remember last time, with M, we had some scary ultrasound findings that sent us into a tailspin. This twin pregnancy has brought news of that magnitude almost every few weeks: multiple hematomas, early oligohydramnios, echogenic bowels indicating possible cystic fibrosis, massive growth disparity. All of those things resolved by about 18 weeks and I was about to “graduate” from the high risk program and then I hit the scariest – PPROM.
You know what’s crazy, is that it really isn’t that uncommon. At the hospital, currently my second home, I see women with even bigger problems than I – HIV pregnancies, fatal abnormalities, being on the brink of very preterm labour. On the day I sat waiting in labour and delivery to be assessed for PPROM, two women lost their babies. I’m glad that my first two pregnancies were easy, relatively speaking. I think it makes it a whole lot easier to go through this without being bitter about what I’m missing.
Also, for some strange reason I just feel more empowered in my care. The first time I questioned every minor test and agonised over it all. This time, you know what? I’m just going with the flow. I’m in some kind of weird limbo territory and I feel very comfortable leaving it in the hands of experts. Of course all the big stuff is discussed with me – I’m an active participant and I’ve never felt rushed by my caregivers in any way. But I don’t want to know everything – sometimes it’s just too much information.