Dreams and Sunshine
The sun is out, and all is well with the world. I'm in Bamfield, and have been clearing land, hanging out with friends and enjoying the newfound sunshine. Everyone's crossing their fingers that summer's finally here, but how many times have we woken up on a clear day and said "Summer's here!" only to have our sun blocked by days of rain. I'm just resigned to a wet summer, so I'm enjoying the nice days while they last.
I woke up this morning having dreamt about my new crush: we were having an argument where
I was defending my whole romantic philosophy: if you have passion, follow it. love should be grasped in the moment, because it's precious and rare and the best thing we can do as people. her counterargument: if you jump on passion every time you feel it it's like impulse shopping--you might wind up with something you like, but there's just as good a chance that you'll wind up with something
you don't like, or something that falls apart quickly, or something that gets shoved to the back of your closet, that you have to deal with years later.
What's interesting is that as powerfully as we were both defending our arguments they were both driven by fear. mine of being alone, and hers of getting hurt. opposing fears, but ultimately the same one. still sorting all the layers of that one out.
waking up this morning though, it got me thinking, and really made me realize that i'm having an increasingly detached attitude from my desires. sure, i still follow them, yes, and it's a bummer nothing more is gonna happen, but so what? there are so many fish in the sea, if this one was supposed to work out, it would have.
So now I'm going to go for a hike, or a paddle, or maybe even a swim in the cold cold ocean, cause it's a beautiful day, I'm done my chores, and I have nothing but life to drink in.